The goal of IVY Verbal Review is to improve the writing of our customers. The seven lessons of this website will enable you to write a coherent piece of our modern American language.
If we use connectors, the fusillade of thoughts become more cogent. Adding vocabulary to your writing adds to the clarity of your writing.
Comparisons is a skill set only IVY Verbal Review promotes. You have two examples. You can write out each point. But this may appear tedious and also repetitive.
Why not promote the benefits of one example. And focus on the negatives of another point.
You can also use advanced connectors such as not only… but also. Let's look at some of your earlier work and rewrite them utilizing advance connectors.